waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress: sir please stop cyring
iwishihadafather:

BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM

iwishihadafather:

BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM

I’m standing too. Now we’re all standing. We’re 5 jackasses standing in a circle

The most under appreciated Rocket quote in Guardians of The Galaxy (via pokemasterjack)

My favorite line.

(via carnilia)

Sometimes we have to be the heroes, in order to protect the ones we love.

team-kurenai:

LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS DOGE BOY

team-kurenai:

LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS DOGE BOY

sublimemichael:

my anaconda don’t want none unless you got 

image

hun

bridesheadeserted:

phiftycent:

princem4rtian:

poyzn:

This is like installing Windows on a Mac.

I am physically required to reblog this or my heart will stop beating.

oh my god

whiiiiiihihhihhihih dog loaf!

madaras-lower-parts:

supersaiyanswagga:

That moment when you’re reading a fic and your OTP finally hooks up

image

That gif is literally perfect

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll choke you with the same hand I fed you with.
Anonymous (via suspend)